Another Me!?

 

Another ME!?              

Wondering why the eroteme and a screamer together? That isn't a grammatical mistake or an over sight. The combination is what I am trying to figure out in sequence. If you got it, you got it.

I grew up in a nearly tourist place called Visakhapatnam in the state of Andhra Pradesh. Geographically, it decorates the Southern part of the subcontinent. It houses beautiful (but can be clean) beaches & lengthy and curvy sea shores. I called it nearly because, I never felt it as a tourist place having been acclaimed to the rhythm of the place since childhood. Beach is a daily escape place for me with friends. Irrespective of question, beaches have their answers for me. Best part is, I never asked questions but the waves had their answers. It was always upon me how to use the answers to solve my questions. That was the phase of my life, I have learnt to pause, think, draw solutions and execute.  

Not right from schooling but from the phase of being an infant, I pulled only one thing towards my mind - being social is being happy. Being social is the pathway to success. I grew up with that strong note of being accepted if one is social. To add to that feeling friends entered my life. My friends circle is another world. I grew up with them. Right from the lowest grade in my school which is called Lower Kindergarten to my graduation which is 16 years,  I was with them. They surpassed me in that inclination of being social. Overtime, these associations inscribed themselves upon my consciousness and conditioned me to believe that being social is a conduit to stay happy and taste success.

Now, its different. I am surprised to experience the difference in thoughts - all thanks to the place that cradles me. This very geography has to be blamed for this. 

I thought I will be unmoved by anything outside me. I thought that is what called character. But, it doesn't seem so any more. Why? Because, I am liking the unusual me. Another me. I did not realize in the first few meetings with my happy moments. I had to wait for the meetings to increase both in number and, more importantly, in frequency. Rather, they had to wait for me to understand the nuisance. I am understanding that the clever come backs and the nods we receive for being quick is only half of the distance covered. To cover the remaining, there is another pivotal aspect that every one needs to experience - solitude. This is not just what I felt. This is what I experienced. 

These are my sparks of bliss that I distilled and let them down from my mind to tell you what I experienced.

Look at the ducks. Each duck is moving at its own pace and direction. The open water around them is an invitation to breath, slow down and enjoy your own  company. 

#freedom (of direction and magnitude)

       

Another moment for me that made me think about standing alone.

 

A lone fixture patiently existing and asking for nothing. Though everything around the object looks faded, it is there and waiting for the right time to glow. Now imagine a thick dark night and this is a backyard of a one and only house in farms. It is mid-night and an old farmer gets off his bed and turns on the bulb. No matter the glowing intensity of the bulb, because of the darkness around it and it is there standing alone, the glow intensifies and it asks for nothing. 

#freedom (of own space & time)

No clamor for attention. A gentle rise and I met the stalks of wilderness. I am sharing these with the world I know. I am drawing inspiration form them. To them, they do not matter. They do not even know that I met them but I have taken life lessons from them.

Their tips glowing like gold. 

To me, it is standing alone but complete. 

#freedom (of being brave)

Someone is asking me to slow down, to breath and to stand still. My solitude is introducing me to my self whom I never met. Socializing, certainly, helped me grow outward but solitude is helping me grow inward. 

Another ME(!?)  :  First I wondered and now I am questioning myself. Why did I miss this in my past?  

Could another feeling be waiting to cross my path in the form of a punctuation mark? - a subtle pause, an exclamation, or a quiet full stop? 

YES OR NO? Either way, I will pen it down 

Happy Reading :) 

 - SRAN